Window of Tolerance

💕 HUGE acknowledgement to our interpersonal neurobiology teachers, who have asked to remain anonymous, for this transformative information. Anything in italics is a direct quote from them

The emotional zone where our nervous system is most regulated and we’re able to function and thrive in daily life, access our executive functioning, and communicate effectively

In other words, when you’re in your window of tolerance, you feel like you can handle anything life throws your way

Remember & forgive yourself: There are neurophysiological responses that we cannot control when something exceeds our window of tolerance. Can fluctuate in size depending on what’s going on in our lives - tired, hungry, no sleep, stressors

SMALL Window of Tolerance

• Too much responsibility and not enough support = much smaller window of tolerance

• Every time you have to code switch, deal with a microaggression, put on a fake smile, suppress a reaction to an injustice, or hide who you really are, your window of tolerance gets smaller

• A small window of tolerance is the emotional equivalent of living paycheck to paycheck

• This is why people might spend more money when they are in financial crisis - their window of tolerance is small, they’re in f* it mode

BIGGER Window of Tolerance

• More space and more support = bigger window of tolerance

• A supportive relationship is more emotionally regulating than food, sleep, water, etc.

• Feels supported as the raw emotion comes up, not about toning down feelings but having someone hold them

• Joined window of tolerance - another person joining your window of tolerance allows you to expand your own window of tolerance

• Relief of someone naming what’s happening and articulate what you’ve been going through

Joined Window of Tolerance

• Joined window of tolerance - another person joining your window of tolerance allows you to expand your own window of tolerance

• Relief of someone naming what’s happening and articulate what you’ve been going through

💖 Being felt, seen, and heard does not stop oppression from happening, but allows us to keep going and get our humanity back

• Who can be your money buddy in your life? 

• Who can you trust when it comes to talking about money - from venting to celebrating wins?

• Who can advocate for you and who can you advocate for?

Talk to your money buddy 

What opens up your window of tolerance? How much help from others do you need?